What's Sex Tape?
by tonystarksnipples
Summary: Clint mentions Tony's sex tapes but Steve has no idea what those are. When Steve asks Tony, he is horrified to find out what they are. Drabble.


"There's someone approaching the workshop, sir," JARVIS informed Tony.

"I said I don't want to be disturbed," Tony muttered.

"It's Captain Rogers, sir."

_Oh. Okay_. "Let him in."

He was under one of his cars, working on the engine, desperate for something to do. He was bored and lonely and "Tony?"

"Yeah?" he said, attempting to sound like he didn't care. In all honestly, it made him strangely happy that Steve had come down to see him. That is, until he opened his mouth.

"What is sex tape?"

Tony wheeled out from under the car. "I beg your pardon."

"Sex tape. Clint said you had some, but when I asked what it was, he told me that I had to ask you."

Tony stood up and wiped the oil from his hands onto his pants before running his fingers through his hair. He hadn't gotten it all off and ended up smearing it in his hair. _Fuck_. Motor oil was such a bitch to wash out. Right now he had bigger problems.

"Can I hear more about how this all came about."

"Well, Clint was sitting at the computer and he called Natasha over, saying something about your sex tape. She laughed and said that it was old news, and he said he knew, too, but that it happened before they knew you so they should check it out again and she slapped him but then said sure so I walked up and asked what it was and he said that I should ask you."

"I'm going to kill him." Steve still looked confused. "I really don't want to talk about this. I'm sorry. It was a long time ago and I was stupid and… fine. Do you know what porn is?"

"What?"

"Porn."

"Um… no?"

Tony sighed. Today really fucking sucked. "Porn is a video of two people having sex. People buy it, mostly guys, and jack off to it. Well, no one really buys it anymore because there's so much free stuff on the internet that has just as good quality, but that's beside the point. Anyway—"

"People actually do that? That is disgusting!" Steve seemed truly shocked. He almost seemed angry.

"Well, then get ready to hate me because it's not sex tape, as in sticky stuff, it's _a_ sex tape… or in my case multiple. Basically a sex tape is porn of an already famous person."

"So… there are videos of you having sex with people online?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Steve blinked rapidly. There was a long, unbearably awkward silence. Eventually, Steve turned to leave.

"So I guess we're back to square one, you and me."

"What?" he asked, turning back around

Tony shrugged. "Well, we've been kind of working on not hating each other and kind of becoming friends, but now everything that you found out that was good about me was kind of shot to hell."

"Why?"

"Starring in porn is kind of a deal breaker."

"Doesn't negate the good I've found in you."

"Really? It doesn't, like, turn you off?" Steve looked scared. "To friendship! Turn you off to friendship."

"Oh. No."

"Really?"

"Are you going to stop saying 'really'?"

"You just seemed so appalled and, well, disgusted that I figured you would have a lower opinion of me."

"It was… how long ago?"

"Ten… fifteen years? They all were leaked around the same time."

"Exactly. You're not the same person you were fifteen years ago."

"You aren't either." Steve could tell that Steve was going to say _You didn't know me_, so Tony filled in. "I mean… fifteen years ago you were a block of ice."

Steve tried to look mad. "That's not funny." Tony watched as he fought the smile.

"Your face thinks otherwise."

"Shut up."

"Anyway, feel free to stay down here, or leave, but if you do chose to leave, please let Clint know that he better watch his balls for this."

Steve blushed. "Um… would it be okay if I stayed down here."

Tony fought his smile. While he was really upset that the sex tapes had been brought up again—he had almost managed to forget about them—he managed to solidify his friendship with Steve. Like he said, starring in porn is kind of a deal breaker, and Steve responded by wanting to spend more time with him. "Yeah, that's fine," he said, finally.

* * *

**Author's Note:  
I was bored yesterday in the waiting room while my mom got her eyes checked and I wrote this. Boop.**


End file.
